Just like younger people, the ailing, disabled, and elderly enjoy different lifestyles. When it concerns our loved ones, sometimes we are too busy putting all of our focus on their physical needs that we may neglect their social/emotional needs.
But before you rush off to sign up your parents or relatives to classes or programs, be sure to ask them first. It might be a little difficult if your loved one is mentally impaired and cannot make decisions for themselves. However, if your loved one is like my dad who still has full knowledge and awareness, you may find yourself struggling to find something for them to do.
So the first question you might want to ask and list down is, “What is my loved one’s level of functioning?
Evaluate Physical Condition
As with any activity for even the most healthiest of people, it’s always wise to check with your loved one’s physician first to determine what appropriate activities are right for your parent/spouse. Sometimes, just taking them to the park or the mall should be sufficient enough for activities, other types may be too overwhelming or physically impossible.
Evaluate Mental Condition
Your loved one may not have a physical and mentally debilitating illness like my mom. They may be more physically disabled (such as my dad) rather than mentally impaired. Activities that may be structured for one parent may not necessarily be appropriate for the other.
Before my mom’s condition worsened, we signed her and my dad up to Adult Day Care . I knew based on what I read and what I discussed with the Social Worker at the center, that this facility would be more appropriate for my mom. My dad attended mainly to keep her company but many of the activities they did together, he found to be too “simple”. My dad is a retired electrical engineer and prefers more “logic”-oriented activities. The activities at the center were short, maybe 30 minutes long. This is because the attention span of brain-impaired adults is very short and they lose interest. The activities would be more comparable to what you might find at your local recreation center. Many of the activities involve art and music.
It was definitely beneficial for my mom as it helped her complete tasks and she was able to pull information from her deep-rooted memory (which long term memory seems to be more intact than short-term memory which is the loss most Alzheimer’s sufferers experience) to create beautiful works of art. Unfortunately, for my dad, many of activities were too “elementary” for him and he lost interest fast.
Evaluate Past Lifestyle, Social Experiences
This is probably easier to do with one person as a opposed to a couple. For our parents, when my mom was healthy, she was the social butterfly. My dad on the other hand, he would prefer to stay at home and watch an interesting movie or keep up on politics. Getting those two to do something together was a bit challenging. Usually my mom would make my dad go to functions such as dances and parties. He did of course, because he loved and still loves her!
Finding an activity for your loved ones should be fun and worthwhile as long as you do not forget to include your loved one in those decisions. Perhaps, just enjoying a nice talk on the patio everyday would be enough to make your loved one’s day.
