Caregiving can be the worst type of stress anyone can experience. The more sicker,weaker, frail, and dependent your loved one is can compound the stress even worse. My sister and I are fortunate to have each other. Many people are like my Godmother, who really don’t have anyone but themselves. My Godmother had her husband to help when her mother was alive, but being the only child, she was fully responsible for her mother’s welfare after her father passed away several years earlier. She had no choice but to enlist help from the outside since she worked full-time as well.

Sometimes you can’t do it all on your own. In fact, you should NEVER try to deal or handle your parents or other loved ones’ care on your own. Try to find help outside, if only just for a little while. It can really ease some of the burden.

Assess Your Needs
It can be hard to really think about what help you may need or want, when you’re just overwhelmed in general. You might want to really take some time out and ask yourself what would really help you help your loved one in a more productive, convenient, or stress-free way.

The Money Factor
As with many things, money is always a factor. You may need to figure out what you can afford or what they can afford, as well as if the services available to you are worth the money you spend. Could you find it somewhere else for cheap or free?
The Time Factor
When you look for outside help, you may have to consider your schedule or your loved ones’ schedule. Will it matter?

Community Care Options

Keeping the above in mind, there should be (hopefully) within your community, a variety of options available to you should you need some outside assistance.

Informal Care:
What is informal care? Well, it can be just people you know that might be willing to help out from time to time: friends, neighbors, church members and other volunteers. Of course, there are limits to this. Availability is not always consistent. After all, they also have their own lives and families to worry about.

Information and Referral:
This includes public agencies, senior centers, community mental health programs, etc. Check those Yellow Pages! Staff members can always mail, or give you information and phone numbers to various services, companies and housing that they have readily available.

Adult Day Care:
When my parents were still on their own, I brought them to an Adult Day Care Center to try to break the monotony of sitting at home alone. Think of it like Child Day Care, but with various options. See my article on Choosing Activities to determine if this is appropriate for your loved one.

• Adult Day Social Care:

This is probably more like a child center. They may have social activities, meals, recreation and some health-related services.

• Adult Day Health Care:

This is the type of day care that I took my parents to, since my mom has Alzheimer’s. A place like this usually has an RN in charge, because you may have some seniors who may have more severe medical problems. Keep in mind that not all of these places cater to Alzheimer’s clients.

Transportation Services:
These can be publicly funded, such as your local para transit system, or privately owned companies. Obviously, the former is probably the cheapest route to take, but the least convenient. Normally, you don’t get same-day-service unless it is placed hours before the scheduled appointment.

Nutrition Programs: My dad used to have a nutrition program through their church when he and my mom were still living in their old home. He also was on the “meals-on-wheels” program. Many churches, synagogues, senior centers, schools and day care centers offer these types of programs. Meals are delivered usually M-F with extras given for the weekend. My Dad paid about $2.50 per meal at the time as a donation

Home Care:
Home Care can consist of paid help, either by short-term insurance coverage (after a hospital stay) or volunteer help. Unfortunately, unless there is a change in federal and state legislation, this type of care will be out-of-pocket. Medicare , Medicaid and some private insurance policies only pay for limited home care. Your choices are dependent on what type of care your loved ones needs. Therefore, you can choose from: nurses, therapists, nursing aides, caregivers, companions, and other qualified professionals.

Respite Care:
Respite Care covers all of the above, in terms of giving you a “break”. Respite includes adult day care services as well as home care services. Sometimes, you may find a place like Silverado Living which offers short-term stays for families and their loved ones. You might want to put your parents at a place like that for a weekend, so that you and your spouse can go on a weekend get-a-way. The great thing about a place like Silverado Living is that should we need respite care for a short time or for an emergency, we can bring our parents there within same day notice if a room is available. I have a nice contact at Silverado Living for our needs, should they arise. Her name is Wendy and she is at the Escondido location in San Diego County. One great service that we got from the Southern Caregiver Resource Center was that we were able to be placed on a waiting list for free respite care. It took about a year, as it is a state funded program. We have 24 hours free for this month and next month, contracted through a local caregiving agency. Depending on the state budget, we will be continuing this respite service for the remaining 10 months we have available to us.

Hospice Care: This type of care is available for those who are suffering from a terminal illness and would rather spend their remaining days in their own home. A hospice care team is provided to help the family and the patient ensure that their quality of life is the best it can be for their remaining days. Insurance coverage for hospice care is provided through Medicare, Medicaid and some private insurance plans.

Support Groups: If you do not have a good support system in place, or if your friends or even family members cannot relate to your experiences, support groups are a good way to share valuable information and also have that emotional support you may not get from somewhere else. Your local public agency should have a calendar of events which includes the time and place caregiver support groups meet and which topics spark your interest.

Contacting the ResourcesThe purpose of me creating this site was to provide others like my sister and I, an opportunity to have information readily available and easy to follow. When you’re looking at all of these options, it can get crazy and frustrating. Each person is different and they have different needs. Sometimes you think you have found the right option and it isn’t the right one. So, the lesson in this is to do your homework. If it all possible, plan before a crisis. But we all know that life isn’t fair and you’ve got to work with the best that you’ve got.

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