Had another breakdown today….

Sometimes I think I have everything under control. I think that I’m a good multi-tasker. I think I’ve been doing well, but occasionally I start to feel the sky fall in, so to speak. Today was one of those days. My sister was gone for about a week on vacation and so I was in charge of everything including her mother-in-law. Right now, our other sister is helping with that but I’m the only one that drives besides Josie. So, I had to do the grocery shopping last Friday which took me 4 hours to do.  I had to shop for my parents as well. I also had my standard errands to do as well as check in with our caregivers.

I’ve found myself even behind on keeping up with this blog and some of our other projects that I started to feel very upset and overwhelmed. Of course, once I talked to her on the phone I just about had a nervous breakdown.  See–I’m very much feeling like you do! It sounds like I have everything under control, but just like you I have my moments.

Whether you’re a caregiver directly or indirectly, the stress is real. I feel guilty for being resentful sometimes. But at the same time, it’s not fair that I don’t have the time that needs to be spent more on my own family and my own needs. I too question whether I’m right to feel that way. And I suppose I do have that right.

But what can I do? I just have to keep working on our business and hope that one day soon  we will be rewarded (or the healthcare plan includes options for Medicare to expand to home care)  for our efforts and we can hire more help. I almost feel like I need to hire a personal assistant! But seriously, sometimes having help feels like things are more complicated than if I just did it myself. You have to entrust your parents’ lives and care under someone. You have to make sure everyone is happy and if they aren’t — problems compound and BAM you’re feeling the brunt of it.

Besides the many errands I had to do over the weekend, I had to hear about the problems occurring at my parents’ rented house. Now the garbage disposal isn’t working, there’s a faucet leak, the toilet handle is broken and I had to reset the fuse box because the kitchen electricity was off! See what I mean? I also had to buy some food for my house, drop off and pick up my daughter from pre-school, and help my husband figure out some legal stuff with work. ARGH!  My only release today was briefly working out at the gym today–which I had to cut short because I hadn’t eaten anything, so I was shaking….oh–and Monday Night Football!

And they say women can handle stress better……

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