update:
I had a good talk with her and we straightened out the attendance and communication issues about her past performance. I made it clear about what we wanted and what we expected from her, and also gave her the open door to leave and still be on amicable terms and not destroy our friendship if she did not want this line of work anymore. I understand that caregiving is hard and stressful. I did it for 3 years! So I understand the burnout. But, she told me she wanted to stay. I told her I wanted her to stay too but that we needed to run things on a professional level so that in the future there are no misunderstandings.
It’s not that my sister just felt like letting her go because of the stress in her life, it was because of an accumulation of her past mistakes in her performance. The reason why I wanted to keep her is because my dad had a good rapport with her. But I also agreed that things were not professional at that point and there needed to be a clear separation between work and personal relationships and if that wasn’t being followed then of course, things needed to be done. My sister and her had a different kind of relationship, a more personal one and so when our caregiver did not do as my sister required of her, she felt like it was disrespectful which if you looked at it from our perspective, it could look that way. Alot of things were said and done that night which elevated feelings beyond what they needed to be. I guess that’s the hard part of hiring a caregiver. It stretches beyond just your typical worker-employer relationship because you get to know these people, they become your family…and with your family, there are relationships that are tumultuous and complex.
So, because I work differently, I offered to take over watching both caregivers: our main caregiver and the part-time help on weekends. My sister isn’t completely out of the picture, but this should allow her to concentrate on other pressing matters and somewhat free her from the stress. We’re fair people so what rules apply to one apply to the other so I’ve written out clear instructions for what I expect from both. I really hope this works out and no future problems occur. But at least she understands that whatever decisions I make from this point on are nothing personal, but completely professional.
