Gay Seniors Feeling Isolated

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by Rose Broyles

All across the country debates about gays and gay marraige are raging in pop culture, law and politics. In my state of California, voters passed Prop 8 which kept the definition of marriage between a man and a woman. This has been a polarizing issue that has taken place here and across the country. Currently whether it’s discussing Adam Lambert’s recent loss in American Idol, or Miss Caliornia’s answer to Perez Hilton‘s gay marriage question at the Miss USA pageant, gay/lesbian/transgender issues will be a challenge for this country to come to grips with.

Invisible to Mainstream

But while the rest of America and the world debates about those issues, LGBT (Lesbian/Gay/Bi/Transexual) seniors and their needs are not being addressed nearly as much as the young people who most are referring to when speaking about gay issues. But more importantly, in the field of Gerontology,experts don’t really talk about or address the needs of aging gays.

Financial

Many LGBT couples not only have to deal with the outside prejudice that currently exists against the LGBT community, but also the challenges they face when sharing assets and property. If one partner dies, the other one may not have rights to shared property or assets as a husband or wife may have in heterosexual relationships. For single LGBT seniors, they may not have heirs or family that can vouch  on their behalf.

Social

While today’s younger generation feels more comfortable coming “out-of-the-closet” (in general), many aging baby boomers and older seniors are having a tough time telling their friends and family. As they grow older, and people around them die, so does their social network. Many of these seniors never married or had children. So the support that they would normally get from family members as  they grow older is not there. When they go out into senior communities, retirement homes, and healthcare facilities, they are integrated with heterosexuals who may not know or understand the special challenges they face.

The experiences and lives of both gay seniors and straight seniors contrast that of younger generations. Where younger people now can feel more accepted by their peers and others, gay seniors do not feel as comfortable and confident.

Healthcare

Healthcare services assume that there is one person at home. So it’s hard for seniors to recover at home after a hospital stay. For LGBT seniors who have partners, things can get complicated when advanced directives are initiated or discussions regarding the medical decisions of those seniors are brought up.

Neglect and Alienation

In Australia, researchers from La Trobe University published a report on the findings that gay seniors are facing alienation from those caring for them at health  facilities. The report, titled “ My People – a Project exploring the experiences of Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, Transgender and Intersex Seniors in Aged Care”  looks at the experiences of gay seniors living in health facilities such as nursing homes, hostels and day care centers.

Findings

Many of the seniors interviewed stated that they couldn’t be themselves. Some have been discriminated against, harassed, forced to hide their sexual identities, ridiculed,  etc. from both staff and other residents. If they weren’t harassed, they were ignored and led to feel isolated.

Resources

Is there any help for these seniors in need? There is such a group in the U.S.  They’re called SAGE (Senior Action in a Gay Environment) They are the largest organization in the U.S. that helps LBGT seniors.  They provide a wealth of resources for LGBT seniors and their specific needs.

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This is something I obviously hadn’t thought about in my own personal life, as my parents are heterosexual. While I do have a friend that is lesbian, I never thought about what it would be like for her to experience discrimination as a senior when that time comes.

Most of the time, when we think about long-term care, we don’t usually consider our parents’ or other loved one’s sexuality. However, what happens when your parent or loved one happens to be a part of a group that is still shunned in modern society? It’s hard enough if you do not conform to “society norms” as a younger person, but what about as an elderly man or woman? Gay and Lesbian seniors come from a generation where it was extremely taboo and they were forced, either by threats of violence or being ostracized from society, to remain “in-the-closet”.

Unfortunately, as society still grapples to accept homosexual, bisexual, and transgendered groups, not much attention has been given the sensitive needs of the members of our society who need it most.

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